Pants Down! Can't Poop!

Here is the Guy’s response to racial turmoil across the nation. He makes it personal, brings home the hard hitting truths. I took his portrait as a direct comparison to the grave misunderstanding brought by distinctly different cultures, each attempting to thrive in its own way. When one’s bowels are not in sync, it affects the body negatively. When a country’s peoples are not in sync, it affects the whole as well. Although we may know the cause of the Guy’s internal issues (see Sriracha collects), and it may be simple for him to remove the problem, he resists. There is medicine he now takes to ease his suffering and right the wrongs he has caused his innards.

Unfortunately, things are not as simple on a grander scale. All guys must sympathize with this one Guy’s problems and do his best to help fix what he can.

Sriracha Collects: Pay Your Dues

The Guy's exploits that we are following are unique. He is a Guy enjoying every moment, even if he finds it difficult.

One of his favorite ingredients in his culinary exploits is Sriracha, and I can understand why. I have witnessed such finesse as he adds a splash to enhance his chicken makhani or an enchilada sauce. But this self portrait came in a time of great struggle, the morning after an incredible Indian style dinner, including homemade naan bread. (Oh yes, the Guy treats his fellows well when the ingredients are provided.)

Oftentimes, I have heard this Guy complain of indigestion and heartburn. This portrait was preceded by complaints of a terribly fiery defecation. This fact should be apparent to the reader for two reasons. One, he is shirtless, which declares the act of pooping has increased his body temperature above normal. And two, the lack of a smile, which his other poo portraits have been accompanied by. He is clearly not enjoying this one.

If given the opportunity, his every meal would have a fair amount of fire. He has even told me that a hot 'n spicy breakfast enhances the aromas and flavors of his morning coffee. (I personally believe that is just another excuse but you must judge that, I am not a coffee drinker.) I have told him that his obligation for spicy food sources his daily discomfort but he brushes that aside quicker than he'll add jalapenos to scrambled eggs.

It seems simple, what I'm trying to say. Moderation works, always. As well as the mustache without the beard.

Dedicated to the Guy's stomach.

A More Reserved 'Stache

Here we find a Guy lost. Stuck in mustache Purgatory. Preparation for a clean shave but reminiscent of what it was; longing for what it represented: pure manliness. For our female viewers, and those guys yet to experience puberty, the act of shaving full-fledged facial hair, be it beard, 'stache, or 'burns, is a disheartening experience reflected in this Guy's drawn, vacant look. Facial hair changes more than a man's face, and its removal is a terrible shock. Its growth is comforting as a blanket of fur envelopes exposed skin and gradually influences the nature of the Guy. With a dominant mustache (see previous posts) this Guy could believe himself a pirate, Frenchman, or even a famous pornstar. Without, he has nothing but his true face to intercede with the world. Such a sudden tearing off of the mask is far worse than any pain caused by that of a band-aid. The first day is terrifying.

The second day is like hair never grew on your face before. This true Guy knows to fear not the world and face it with your face. It is not terribly frightening. It's also much easier to get a job clean shaven, as I believe he did a few weeks after sporting his dapper look. (I am certain, however, he began growing a new 'stache as soon as he shook his new boss' hand. It looks good on him, why should he not?)

Shaving is about that first hurdle all guys face, in anything you might do. Notice how this Guy had second thoughts about shaving the mustache, with that bare leg and shower curtain, I can only assume he is sitting on the toilet (the origin of most his self portraits). He had time to back out, he could have lived a few weeks avoiding elementary schools and public parks, but no, he persevered.

The Dapper, Mirrored Guy

I know this may not appear to be the same Guy, but I assure you, it is he. Even with fixin' to get hired clothes on and without the stunning stash we've all come to know and love, his style of Self-Portrait remains distinct. It portrays a carefree man. Someone who is using this relatively new ability of sending photos instantly across the world to facilitate conversation (seeing that he is posting it directly to Thugz Chat). This is a poorly developed aspect of the modern Self-Portrait. It appears to me at least, that a fair majority, those who post simple selfies, are doing so for simply selfish reasons. But a precious few have loosely taken hold of this new Self-Portrait trend, to entertain others and by doing so, adding to the enjoyment of the group as a hole. I certainly enjoyed a jovial chuckle after seeing this.

After the amusement passed though, I looked deeper into what this photo is insinuating. Take note that this is a mirror shot. In this case, it displays a terrible shortcoming of modern day cellular applications that are restricting the development of the Self-Portrait. See how it automatically assumes the user will be taking a selfie, and even this young user of technology did not realize how to switch to the front facing camera so that he could effectively use the viewfinder. I fear for what this could mean. Perhaps it is innocent, that technology has already surpassed the millennials, or perhaps it could be worse; are popular social media apps driving a generation towards an inherently selfish existence? I cannot tell you the answer to that question, but I do know that this Guy will continue being a Guy.

An Unbiased Look at the "Sexy, Inviting Selfie"

I think I need to return to the real core content of this blog. Here is the original Guy:

To me, this picture speaks volumes about sending seductive images through the airwaves. First, they are interpreted by the receiver. In this case, everyone subscribing to the Thugz Facebook chat group. Sure, he is a ravishingly hairy man, and few women can resist his seduction, but the group that was graced with this titillating photo had mostly male viewers with only two female observers, both of whom are strictly platonic friends and also currently in relationships. This photo seems to be out of place, however, the Guy does not see social boundaries as common folk, such as we do. I believe he has transcended us and views the entire world as art.

This piece is like a contemporary Baroque era nude, "Hector" by Jacques-Louis David (1748-1825). The parallels are poignant.

Unfortunately, for this artistic revelation, the world is not prepared. If this was posted to Instagram or photo sharing sites it would be flagged as pornographic and our poor Guy would be ostracized from the social spheres of the interwebs. Let us redefine a picture taken by the subject for what they really are: Self-Portraits

How Is It Even Possible?

The most recent Guy I mentioned has recently been in Vienna, Austria taking a chocolate tasting class. For real bonafide college credits. I've heard of wine or beer tasting but somehow he has become even more cultured than your above average American. He even found and dated, what I believe to be, a unicorn amongst women: a well endowed gymnast. And he completed that feat by his junior year in highschoo, then, without looking back, dated a model his freshman year of college. What else does this man have in store for us? Oh, and here's his beard

What more could anyone ask for? The rest of his life he will be swimming with the fishes, being a marine biologist. It appears that he does exactly what he wants to, whatever that may be, and, so far, that is working out very well for him. I think that is what I am trying to get at. Do what you want, do it well, be as accomplished as these Thugz. (I don't know what the definition of "accomplished" is.)

The next Guy of Thugz I will introduce you to is one that I have only recently (because I was really only an observer of his high school escapades) gotten to glimpse the Thugz Interpretation he has on life, the universe, and everything. We find him, somehow, to be a cool person in today's accepted understanding of the word while still adhering to a strict Thugz lifestyle. And here he is:

Even if there wasn't a picture being taken of him I can guarantee he would remain toasting to the world. And why shouldn't he? The world treats him well as long as he puts forth, from what I've observed, a minimal amount of effort. Somehow this man has figured out how to make the world turn in his favor, and I commend him. You can't comprehend what is coming next.