The Benevolent Guy

I would trust this Guy to effectively rule in the people's best interest. Why? Because he has the prestige and daring to sport a mustache shaped like this:

There are few men who can attain such strength from this minimal and stigmatized style of facial hair. But from where does it truly arise? From the true creed of all Guys, of course. I are Guy, It are Guy, Guy are You. The daring choice in 'stache reflects the Guy's acceptance of this mantra. There is no Antisemitism among Guys, all things are Guy and thus deserve acceptance as Guy. I love his mustache and I love Guy.

Angry Guy

By now you may have somewhat of a grasp on who this Guy really is. Without these little glimpses through his self portraits none of us would have ever realized what great lengths it takes to be a true Guy. Sometimes a Guy gets angry.

Pants Down! Can't Poop!

Here is the Guy’s response to racial turmoil across the nation. He makes it personal, brings home the hard hitting truths. I took his portrait as a direct comparison to the grave misunderstanding brought by distinctly different cultures, each attempting to thrive in its own way. When one’s bowels are not in sync, it affects the body negatively. When a country’s peoples are not in sync, it affects the whole as well. Although we may know the cause of the Guy’s internal issues (see Sriracha collects), and it may be simple for him to remove the problem, he resists. There is medicine he now takes to ease his suffering and right the wrongs he has caused his innards.

Unfortunately, things are not as simple on a grander scale. All guys must sympathize with this one Guy’s problems and do his best to help fix what he can.

Sriracha Collects: Pay Your Dues

The Guy's exploits that we are following are unique. He is a Guy enjoying every moment, even if he finds it difficult.

One of his favorite ingredients in his culinary exploits is Sriracha, and I can understand why. I have witnessed such finesse as he adds a splash to enhance his chicken makhani or an enchilada sauce. But this self portrait came in a time of great struggle, the morning after an incredible Indian style dinner, including homemade naan bread. (Oh yes, the Guy treats his fellows well when the ingredients are provided.)

Oftentimes, I have heard this Guy complain of indigestion and heartburn. This portrait was preceded by complaints of a terribly fiery defecation. This fact should be apparent to the reader for two reasons. One, he is shirtless, which declares the act of pooping has increased his body temperature above normal. And two, the lack of a smile, which his other poo portraits have been accompanied by. He is clearly not enjoying this one.

If given the opportunity, his every meal would have a fair amount of fire. He has even told me that a hot 'n spicy breakfast enhances the aromas and flavors of his morning coffee. (I personally believe that is just another excuse but you must judge that, I am not a coffee drinker.) I have told him that his obligation for spicy food sources his daily discomfort but he brushes that aside quicker than he'll add jalapenos to scrambled eggs.

It seems simple, what I'm trying to say. Moderation works, always. As well as the mustache without the beard.

Dedicated to the Guy's stomach.

A More Reserved 'Stache

Here we find a Guy lost. Stuck in mustache Purgatory. Preparation for a clean shave but reminiscent of what it was; longing for what it represented: pure manliness. For our female viewers, and those guys yet to experience puberty, the act of shaving full-fledged facial hair, be it beard, 'stache, or 'burns, is a disheartening experience reflected in this Guy's drawn, vacant look. Facial hair changes more than a man's face, and its removal is a terrible shock. Its growth is comforting as a blanket of fur envelopes exposed skin and gradually influences the nature of the Guy. With a dominant mustache (see previous posts) this Guy could believe himself a pirate, Frenchman, or even a famous pornstar. Without, he has nothing but his true face to intercede with the world. Such a sudden tearing off of the mask is far worse than any pain caused by that of a band-aid. The first day is terrifying.

The second day is like hair never grew on your face before. This true Guy knows to fear not the world and face it with your face. It is not terribly frightening. It's also much easier to get a job clean shaven, as I believe he did a few weeks after sporting his dapper look. (I am certain, however, he began growing a new 'stache as soon as he shook his new boss' hand. It looks good on him, why should he not?)

Shaving is about that first hurdle all guys face, in anything you might do. Notice how this Guy had second thoughts about shaving the mustache, with that bare leg and shower curtain, I can only assume he is sitting on the toilet (the origin of most his self portraits). He had time to back out, he could have lived a few weeks avoiding elementary schools and public parks, but no, he persevered.

The Dapper, Mirrored Guy

I know this may not appear to be the same Guy, but I assure you, it is he. Even with fixin' to get hired clothes on and without the stunning stash we've all come to know and love, his style of Self-Portrait remains distinct. It portrays a carefree man. Someone who is using this relatively new ability of sending photos instantly across the world to facilitate conversation (seeing that he is posting it directly to Thugz Chat). This is a poorly developed aspect of the modern Self-Portrait. It appears to me at least, that a fair majority, those who post simple selfies, are doing so for simply selfish reasons. But a precious few have loosely taken hold of this new Self-Portrait trend, to entertain others and by doing so, adding to the enjoyment of the group as a hole. I certainly enjoyed a jovial chuckle after seeing this.

After the amusement passed though, I looked deeper into what this photo is insinuating. Take note that this is a mirror shot. In this case, it displays a terrible shortcoming of modern day cellular applications that are restricting the development of the Self-Portrait. See how it automatically assumes the user will be taking a selfie, and even this young user of technology did not realize how to switch to the front facing camera so that he could effectively use the viewfinder. I fear for what this could mean. Perhaps it is innocent, that technology has already surpassed the millennials, or perhaps it could be worse; are popular social media apps driving a generation towards an inherently selfish existence? I cannot tell you the answer to that question, but I do know that this Guy will continue being a Guy.

An Unbiased Look at the "Sexy, Inviting Selfie"

I think I need to return to the real core content of this blog. Here is the original Guy:

To me, this picture speaks volumes about sending seductive images through the airwaves. First, they are interpreted by the receiver. In this case, everyone subscribing to the Thugz Facebook chat group. Sure, he is a ravishingly hairy man, and few women can resist his seduction, but the group that was graced with this titillating photo had mostly male viewers with only two female observers, both of whom are strictly platonic friends and also currently in relationships. This photo seems to be out of place, however, the Guy does not see social boundaries as common folk, such as we do. I believe he has transcended us and views the entire world as art.

This piece is like a contemporary Baroque era nude, "Hector" by Jacques-Louis David (1748-1825). The parallels are poignant.

Unfortunately, for this artistic revelation, the world is not prepared. If this was posted to Instagram or photo sharing sites it would be flagged as pornographic and our poor Guy would be ostracized from the social spheres of the interwebs. Let us redefine a picture taken by the subject for what they really are: Self-Portraits

How Is It Even Possible?

The most recent Guy I mentioned has recently been in Vienna, Austria taking a chocolate tasting class. For real bonafide college credits. I've heard of wine or beer tasting but somehow he has become even more cultured than your above average American. He even found and dated, what I believe to be, a unicorn amongst women: a well endowed gymnast. And he completed that feat by his junior year in highschoo, then, without looking back, dated a model his freshman year of college. What else does this man have in store for us? Oh, and here's his beard

What more could anyone ask for? The rest of his life he will be swimming with the fishes, being a marine biologist. It appears that he does exactly what he wants to, whatever that may be, and, so far, that is working out very well for him. I think that is what I am trying to get at. Do what you want, do it well, be as accomplished as these Thugz. (I don't know what the definition of "accomplished" is.)

The next Guy of Thugz I will introduce you to is one that I have only recently (because I was really only an observer of his high school escapades) gotten to glimpse the Thugz Interpretation he has on life, the universe, and everything. We find him, somehow, to be a cool person in today's accepted understanding of the word while still adhering to a strict Thugz lifestyle. And here he is:

Even if there wasn't a picture being taken of him I can guarantee he would remain toasting to the world. And why shouldn't he? The world treats him well as long as he puts forth, from what I've observed, a minimal amount of effort. Somehow this man has figured out how to make the world turn in his favor, and I commend him. You can't comprehend what is coming next.

 Here is some of his later work showing his acting and lyrical genius and, yep, he looks like just another whitey stealing the rap game from black culture and doing a great job of it. Fortunately, that is not entirely true, or else he would have lost the pedestal of esteem on which I hold him. He is arguably the most artistically inclined Guy of Thugz, pursuing his passion through a legitimate career, and expresses that talent through writing, directing, filming, and acting in any sort of screenplay, normal play, animation or any other sort of production. This is not your typical rap video because he is not claiming to be the acclaimed actor Tim Allan or using a pseudonym. It appears to me that he wrote, performed, and probably had a hand in directing it purely for his own enjoyment and happens, to the benefit of all humanity, to want to share it as well. To all of humanity he is presenting himself as a goofy, lyrically talented, lanky white boy, and perhaps, that is exactly what he is.

Here is a link to the rest of his first original EP, if you feel so inclined to enjoy it with him. http://timallan.bandcamp.com/album/pajama-party

Taking a New Direction

I have begun anew. Worry not if you were looking forward to further details of The Guy's foray into social media, for more shall come later, but I have been persuaded to expand the scope of this here blog. The greater purpose is now to provide you with the Thugz (the aforementioned name of the Facebook chat my friends and I use) outlook on life. This, I have recently become aware, is an entirely different interpretation of life than most. I have also found that I enjoy taking part in that outlook rather than any other, especially any that seem prevalent in today's society. Today, I will be bringing you the interpretation of this Guy. Here is some of his early work to watch, if it pleases you.

To provide some context:
The International Baccalaureate Program was met with some resistance from the student populace. This Guy was brave enough to voice his opinion through writing, directing, and filming this farce. He and most of the other performers in this video took part in this program.

I too took part in this program and, looking back, why did I resist as well? It actually helped prepare me for college, more than I think regents classes would have. The administrators of our high school looked to improve our lives but we did not want it. I believe I realized why This Guy created this video much later, just today, in fact. And it may not have been to simply protest against the man.

A Social Phenomenon Enhanced

The next time The Guy chose to begin Thugz' day with a candid selfie he revolutionized the entire selfie phenomenon and restored my faith in humanity. Through mine own eyes I saw hope for a generation in a man who did not care one iota about how others saw him. I do not know if he was the first to do this, but I firmly believe he will not be the last. Remember that uncertain look on his first selfie? Well, he is now surely barging through social barriers. Here is a man who, with no regard to social mores, posted this and firmly shook me awake...(warning: some may consider this a less than tasteful moment I mentioned in the first post, hence the large page break)

Now, in case the picture's blurriness obscures it at all, I will provide some explanation. Yes, that is the same astounding mustache as the first selfie. Yes, those are black with white polka dots underwear. And yes, that is The Guy not giving a single shit about his routine morning bowel movement. I know of people who have "public pooping anxiety" and have difficulty excreting in a public restroom but This Guy went out of his way to share this moment of his private life with his good friends. Upon first seeing this, I burst out laughing because I did not know how to react, never even imagining I would find myself in this situation. But after further consideration and the suppression of all my doubts in him, I found just as many questions about today's society being raised by this, no doubt, controversial selfie.
When did defecation become a private event?
Why is there such stigma put on passing gas in the public sphere when, at least in my closest circle of family and friends and when seen on television or a viral video, it can be hilarious?
Why do men feel pressured to forgo that natural pressure in order to maintain a casual or even serious relationship with the opposite sex?
These are only a few questions that have been raised by this man's selfless act. In this blog and hopefully with your help, I aim to contemplate humanity.

The Beginning of Peculiarity

The Guy is an avid internet user, perusing Reddit or YouTube comments on a regular basis, so I will assume he is up to date with the most popular internet trends. I have also found that part of his daily routine is, after waking up, if a conversation has yet to begin on Thugz Chat, he likes to start one. Generally it began with a simple "yo" or "what's going on," however, one day, things changed. This is what he led with, to which I was rudely shocked from my morning grogginess...

A selfie, and a poor one at that. Sure the mustache is impeccable, such that even I envy, but I imagined this Guy as one who was beyond today's self-centered culture. The fact that he seemingly had been corrupted by popular social media shook me to my very core. Such an unorthodox man, one who had left college to wander the globe for an indefinite period of time, returning only after the passing of a dear friend of ours, I did not dream could give into such a horrendous trend. After I saw this my own will broke and even I gave into the trend. I did not know what was right in the world any longer. But all my hopes and dreams were restored when he gave the Thugz a bit more context the next morning.

An Introduction to The Guy

My friends and I use a Facebook chat to keep in contact with each other throughout the day, over long distances, to coordinate activities, etc. Naturally, it is named Thugz. The subject of this blog will be one of my friends I have known since elementary school who is quite the character.

Here is the man sleeping, in his normal state. This is, for lack of a better term, Guy. He has begun to use our Thugz Chat in an odd manner. This blog will chronicle that use. He has given me permission to use any and all pictures of him. I will do my best to present them to you in a tasteful manner. WARNING: The subject of this blog, Guy, may not be tasteful.